Ikea, You Suck.

Alright so in the past year or so there has been a huge, and I mean HUGE explosion with the obsession of Ikea. What the hell is so great about it? Oh they have furniture that is cool, hip AND CHEAP!? WHAT! THAT’S CRAZY!

Well it’s not cool or hip unless maybe your a hipster fuck. But if that’s the case, you’re not a hipster since all hipsters say they are not hipsters. Yet guys are. Enough hipster ranting.

Ikea you suck. All your furniture, lights, knick knacks are completely unconventional. Everything you make tries to have that hip modern edge.

Is that what your house/apartment/condominium/space of living looks like? No it doesn’t at all. If you ask me that places looks like shit. What the fuck are those black squares, and why is only one of them able to have other useless glassware placed in it? Also who the fuck gets a zebra carpet?

Everything is square, boring and lame. Add some life into your furniture. Get some Frank Lloyd Wright furniture up in your bitch. Oh you can’t, well that sucks. Should have been getting furniture when he was around. Oh another thing, when you shop at Ikea it just screams that you’re pretentious (word of the decade if I do say so myself).

The demographic it’s aimed at are the 20-30 year olds, who think they are cool and hip since they just landed that new job at that great company. Well, no. get something more unique than that. I hate going to peoples apartments and seeing furniture that I saw at another friends house. It’s getting to the point where its unoriginal and tells me that you’re too lazy to actually look for furniture that is conventional for your own means. Mr. Ikea doesn’t know, or give two shits for that matter, about what works for you. He just wants all your shitty earned money.

I’m sure I’ll have to shop there for furniture one day though…


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